My day didn’t really go the way I had planned. I left the house later than I had hoped and consequently got stuck in horrendous traffic. My drive to the gym shouldn’t have taken longer than 20 minutes; instead, 40 minutes later and I wasn’t even halfway there … I was already feeling anxious so I turned the car around and decided to head back home.

I took advantage of not having to go to work today and headed to the supermarket.

I came home and did my mobility and then spend a few hours working.

We did some Jiu-jitsu in the evening. I couldn’t do much because my neck and upper back were really sore and stiff. I think I landed on it badly during one of our drills yesterday. Still, we did do a few drills.

working on our X-guard sweeps

I really did try to keep the above quote in mind all day – make this day a great one. It’s up to me … but something was off. I wasn’t feeling like myself.

Well, that’s not true. I know what it was. It’ll sound crazy, but it was going to the supermarket. It was my first time going on my own since I was there, which means that my mind was left to wander.

My brother and I would leave work after class and go straight to the supermarket for our weekly shop. We had a routine. I walked through the aisles on my own, hearing his comments about what looked good and what we should buy. We’d sometimes buy a small bag of nuts just as we entered the store and munch on them – just to make sure we didn’t buy anything more ‘harmful’ during our shop. I thought about doing that – but it wouldn’t be the same unless I could share them with him.

Will it always be this hard? How can even a trip to the supermarket feel like torture? I just miss him so much.

WLC Day 16 Diary