January 1st — probably the most popular day to set resolutions for the year. I used to do it religiously for years on end. I’d come up with a list of tasks that I wanted to accomplish by the end of the year. In general, I work well when I set targets and parameters for myself. However, for the past few years, my resolutions seem to have taken a different shape. Instead of writing down goals upon which I can judge myself against – positively or negatively – the resolutions have taken shape more as promises to my self … having the resolve, determination, and focus to live in a way that leads to an overall more fulfilling life.
Two years ago my promise to myself was – Have No Regrets. No matter what happened that year – I wanted to make sure I ended each day with no regrets.
Last year my promise was – Do What Makes You Happy. In the past I would find my self umm’ing and aaah’ing over whether I should do something or not. I felt like I simplified my life by asking myself – does this make you happy? It kind of branches off ‘no regrets’. It sounds simple. For the most part, it is. It was great guideline for me to follow when I found myself obsessing over decisions.
This year my focus is actually on finding resolutions.
I always considered resolutions to mean deciding to do something; I never thought of it in terms of finding a resolution. This struck me when I read something in a book last year – “… stop making decisions based on fear … plant your feet when you feel that energy coming up, take a moment to sort through the signals you’re sending yourself, and ask, What is the most healing response that will bring me to a resolution I can be proud of?” [Fierce Medicine by Ana T. Forrest, p. 16]
I have been working to overcome my fears for several years now. I am very happy with how far I’ve come. However, I know that I need to dig a bit deeper. It’s not just about fears. It’s about confronting situations that making me uncomfortable, dealing with situations that are out of my control, navigating around people that annoy me …
I want to work to find calm whenever I feel chaos. I want to find a resolution to that chaos so that I am able to work through it again if I am ever confronted with a similar situation in the future.
This is my focus for the year ahead. I know it won’t be easy! I’ve already been confronted with a few situations that have forced me to clench my teeth, take deep breaths, and just work on letting them go … it’s easy to do for a short period of time, but maintaining that calm and not let that annoyance/frustration arise again and throw me off sync is a challenge. I’m not looking for temporary fixes. I want to get to a place where calm is my normal state of being. I hope to do this by resolving my issues and not just glossing over them.