This morning I woke up earlier than I would have liked to. I was still feeling the weight of yesterday’s doctor’s appointment and I just wanted to wallow in self-pity for a bit. Still, once my eyes opened, I was up so I got started with my day. Everything was going fine and I was making some good progress with my writing when I looked at the clock and realized that if I didn’t make a move soon, I would miss my morning CrossFit class.

I hesitated. I wasn’t sure how I would feel (or perform) physically. I knew that mentally I was not in a good place. I had two choices – stay home and have a relatively inactive day or get up and go to class. As tempting as it was to stay in my pajamas all day, I knew that there was no way my day would make a positive turn ¬†unless I took the opportunity to do so.

So I got up from my desk, got dressed, and drove to CrossFit.

When I’m in pain I have a constant mental battle. The sharp abdominal cramps are hard to ignore and I hate when I involuntarily wince (particularly when I’m talking to other people), but in the end, it’s only pain. It’s only pain. Despite the bloating and discomfort I keep reminding myself that I can still move; I can still be active – even if it’s not under the best circumstances, I can still do a lot. I just have to push through.

It may seem like I’m being careless or some people may think I’m pushing myself too hard …

I’ve been dealing with this type of pain and other symptoms for a long time now. I’ve learned to tell the difference between when I can push through and when I need to take a step back. On Tuesday, aside for a bit of stretching in the morning, I didn’t do anything except lie on the couch. I was wiped out. I just couldn’t move. I was so uncomfortable I couldn’t stand it. Today, however, was not as bad as Tuesday. As a result, I wanted to do something different. At the very least, I wanted to try.

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Today’s CrossFit focus was squat cleans. I hadn’t done squat cleans in at least 6 months so I knew I’d be keeping it light as I worked on my technique and built up my confidence with the move. Slowly but surely I was able to add weight to my bar and work up to a new Personal Record of a 50kg squat clean.

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Feeling satisfied with my lift and exhausted after the MetCon, I drove home with one main thought in my mind — if I hadn’t come to class, then I wouldn’t have had the opportunity to accomplish this.

That’s the moral of the story, isn’t it? At the very least, you’ve got to give it a go.

Even if I hadn’t hit a PR today, I would have still accomplished something. I would have worked up a sweat and made an effort with the MetCon. I would have driven home feeling some level of achievement … some level of success. It wouldn’t have happened unless I had given myself the opportunity to succeed.